What a waste

I’ve been thinking … I love drawing, though hardly seem to do any. I once loved making, though rarely made more than ‘real’ pieces (for exhibitions or commissions or the gallery I once stocked).

I’ve come to wonder if that’s because I’m worried about “waste” … wasting materials, paper, metals, consumables, etc.

It’s not a concern about wasting time; lordy no, for if I wasn’t doing lovely fun creative things there’s always the housework lurking and waiting for me. I think it’s more about wasting things that cost money.

The amateur psychologist in me thinks this may be due to quite a frugal childhood, when we weren’t strictly denied but taught to be careful and minimise waste. Genuine waste. However, perhaps over time my mind has somehow warped this helpful responsible attitude into something that means all creative acts that aren’t ‘final’ or ‘masterful’ are effectively a waste.

It’s not a good thought really is it?!
Not helpful to exploring and playing.
At all. Nope.
For I know very well the value of exploring and play.

I’ve read a bit about creativity, and haven’t yet seen anything about how to mitigate or counter this kind of worry (conscious or hidden).

Do you worry about waste?

I’d like to banish this worry about waste … in itself it is a waste of creativity, a waste of play, a waste of joy.